Friday, March 06, 2009
okay lang, honestly. :)
we lost.pero okay lang. weird talaga kasi thursday night when i prayed before sleeping, sabi ko kay lord,
"Lord kung di mananalo si Jow, sana po (yuck ang weird) matalo na lang ako."
e masyadong masunurin si lord e. :))
but the thing is,
during the campaign i knew who my real friends are. friends na hindi hahayaang maging awkward ang lahat ng bagay dahil lang from different parties kami, friends na nagbibigay ng bagong chances and opportunities sa iba, at enemies na ubod ng arte (uyy may bago na akong frenemy =)) secret kung sino. basta I HATE IT) hehehe,
and best of all, friday night :) was somehow one of the best nights i had :D
okay lang that we lost. we still have Sibol e :D
that's life,
you LOSE some. you WIN SOMEONE. :-x
hahahahha :D
posted by anthonette at 12:46 PM
Thursday, March 05, 2009
hindi ito huling habilin
Okay don't panic. this is not a premonition. di pa ako mamamatay kasi masamang damo ako.hehe :)
the past two weeks had been a blur.
all kinds of emotions were felt--there were days so irritating, so tiring, depressing, confusing, funny, sabaw-ish, exploding, frustrating, eye-opening, satisfying, gratifying, constipating (whaaaat?)
but this night. as the eve of judgment day approaches all i feel is nothing but gratitude.
sobrang nagpapasalamat ako sa lahat ng mga taong nakasama ko, bago man o luma. at sa lahat ng taong nakatrabaho (nyark artista?) at naka-share ng roller coaster event ngayon.
first, JOW POBLETE. got lots of things to thank for to this guy. :) you know how i doubted myself and my capabilities but you were there to make me feel that i am worthwhile. i was really moved kanina when you told us that lahat kami, in your slate were carefully chosen. and you chose us kasi you believed in us. i admire you jow. kasi despite the toxicity and init of going from lara to faura, you never failed to reach out. thank you for making an effort to prove that faura and lara isn't as far as it seems. thank you kasi you touched us. and it made us alive. it made us respond. it made us feel welcome.
to add, thank you jow kasi you didn't leave us hanging. kahit wala kang two front teeth and kahit bloodshot ang almost 3/4 of your eyes, you were there to be with us, to present us with pride and with hope na you could help us to be heard. thank you jow for honing our potentials, thank you letting us take this big leap, thank you for making us feel we belong.
second, TISH, LOREN, NINA, MOCHA and MAI. thank you guys. wala lang kahit nakakainggit at nakakabitin that i cut even our food trip, pinag-cut and make nyo pa rin ako ng PHISH stickers :) wala lang. thank you lalo na kay tish, sa load, sa pressure, sa pagcarry ng pagsusungit ko pag stressed and best of all sa pag-understand pag mejo sabaw na ako magreport or pag di ko pa tapos ang report kahit 2 hours away na lang. thanks guys fo rbeing there.
third, sa SIBOL-PH. i made friends. and for that i am very thankful. lahat tayo nagshare ng insights about things, nagshare ng pain, ng pressure, ng di pagtulog (hehe). i feel so proud kasi though we are new, though napataas natin ang mga kilay nila, we proved to them that we are worth listening to, young as we are, new to their eyes as we seem.
and thing is, being part of Sibol opened alot of doors for me. sa sobrang bilis nga magopen, nakakagulat na. thank you kasi i met a lot of inspiring and marvelous people (hello renzo guinto and bryan lim :D) through it. it became my stepping stone to brighter and bigger dreams and it challenged me to train myself to be a better person. :)
(okay for the next few parts ill make it short na lang, have pi pa. argh)
kay ATE MITA, for staying late at night, for printing shirts, for directing us lalo na nung wala si jow. for being the sec that she is and for being more! for being an ate, a confidante, an instant mom (hehe), and for being a friend. :) thanks sa pagbblog, sa pagddefend, sa pag-eencourage, sa pag-mmentor, sa pag-ccritic, sa pagccoach, in short sa lahat :D
kay ATE IRIS, and friends (hehe) kasi she shared her lovelife, her kilig moments, her org and her passion and pursuits. i am really looking forward to knowing you more (and ate camille--> haha CHEESEBURGER.benta major.) kasi wala lang it had been really fun being with you. thanks ate for opening up. and sana makasama ko kayo soon :) thank you ate iris kasi sinama mo ako sa bigkis. :) sana manalo ka for cph rep, ang daming kalaban e. =))
kay LORRA SAYSON, MS. JAN BAYBAY, MS. JUVY MACAPAGAL, for being jow's friends (and as for lorra, my friend). we admit that we are new to these things but you helped us wholeheartedly to get through everything. the qualities what we have right now, we owe them to you and your willingness to help us. thank you po.
kay MILA GULFAN, CHI CHI ILAYA, ANRIZ CARLOS, AYA AGONCILLO, KENNETH ONG, ANGEL ANG, at sa LAHAT NG KABATCH na ng nagsuot ng yellow hehe, in those two weeks, masaya ako kasi walang awkwardness. lahat steady lang :) nakakaaliw kasi i felt that we respected each other. pag campaign, we campaign, we do our best. pag nasa class (nat sci 8 or chem lab or bio lab), chikahan time :D hehe
(wait parang sabi ko shorter a)
kay DAVE TORIO, i may have told you a thousand times how i thank you so but still, thank you. alam mo na kung bakit dave :D
kay DOLLY na aking buddy. siguro you got shocked when i ranted one time sa text. pero i just want you to feel that you can always approach me. im just happy na napakasweet and bait bait ng buddy ko :D
sa SIBS ESP NADZ AND ARJ AND CHI AND MIA, dahil kahit namiss ko ang "debut of the year", ang surprise bday ni arjae, at ang chika about kay amanpulo, they still understood. thanks din to mia kasi when i was to explode, she was there to pacify me. you know me so well mia and im so glad yo said all thos things. tama ka, i would have regretted it kung di ko to tinuloy. kasi kahit matalo man, i learned alot at feeling ko winner pa rin :D
sa PE-MATES, for understanding why lately we have been late or absent. promise we'll make it up to you. tska gagalingan talaga namin i assure you:D
kay TRISTAN MUNAR for the tarp services. salamat ha kahit rush. **For discounted Tarp and Poster Printing Services, contact me or him.
sa BIO (joyce, pj, laurie, and friends) kahit di kayo boboto, thanks :))
kay DREI ALFONSO of DSS for being my dss campaign manager, kahit again di naman kayo boboto :))
kina RICHIE, CHARMAGNE, DARRYL, MARK and some dent people for the go!-go! 's :D (kahit again di naman kayo boboto =)) )
kay KARA at pharm people, kahit again di kayo ph, di kayo boboto :))
(okay this time nasasabaw na ako sa antok :D)
and thanks to my sisters of course, for the funding (kahit kapalit non e pag-aaccount ko next week sa sales ng Sam's), pagluto ng dinner and breakfast kahit di naman talaga ako nakakakain. hehe, and sa pag-encourage sakin, matulog. :)) dahil mukha na daw ako zombie.
thanks to my mom and papa, ciempre. wala lang sa kanila galing ang writing and speaking skills ko e. so ayun. (sabaw na)
and to all the new people i met, you may not know how great the ratio you have inspired. and it's more than enough. i am really honored to see, know and listen to you. :)
to all who asked questions. questions are good. :) you helped us think so that we could improve! :D
and best of all to God. a month ago, i felt....BORED. wala lang. masama pala ung feeling na walang purpose. na peteks lang. na konting participation lang tapos books na or barkada na. a month ago, i was in darkness, i focused on the wrong things and felt depressed with the wrong people. but then this time, i got distracted...in a better way. :D i thank God kasi he gave me a chance, to make myself feel important by being busy or by being of service to others. thanks lord. kasi you gave me courage, confidence and best of all, a chance to do what i have always been doing and what i have always been passionate about. :)
tomorrow, the people shall choose. and i stay true to what i said a while ago.
"our basis to choose should not consider WHO stood out or WHO is the best. the future of our college or university is a matter of substance and not personality. what we should rely on when we choose is WHAT would be appropriate and WHAT would make us rise to better horizons."
let us not deprive ourselves of our right for change and development.
pagdating natin sa mga ballots, lahat tayo pantay-pantay. walang freshie, sophie, junior, senior, shiftee or irreg. lahat tayo mga estudyanteng umaasa na kung di man magkakaroon ng malaking pagbabago, may maggagabay sa atin para magbago. tayo pa rin ang leaders ng buhay natin. kung kaya't kung may nais tayong makamit, kumilos tayo. at kumilos tayong kasama ang mga taong papalakasin ang ating loob, gagabayan tayo at higit sa lahat, pagsisilbihan tayo nang walang pag-iimbot.
remember may purpose kung bakit "student council" kasi students always come first.
(wala lang masaya lang ako kasi may political party na member na ako. hehe)
tulog muna. PI later :D (hay nako. major? heheheh)
posted by anthonette at 1:03 AM
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
because sincerity is more than just defense
thing is, WE ARE ALL MONSTERS.driven by the power to prove we are somebody or that we have something better to offer, we speak as if we humble ourselves, to the point that we do it only to seek sympathy.
people, we can do better than this.
i am speaking not because i am running. i am speaking because this has been what's on my mind AS AN ORDINARY INDIVIDUAL. i am speaking as Anthonette Malaluan, the ordinary PH student i have always been.
sa mga bagong pangyayari sa buhay ko, masaya ako kahit minsan masakit. kasi alam ko na sa lahat ng ginawa ko, sinagad ko ang kakayahan ko. nakita ko ang Nhet na dating ganito laging -- maximized ang potential. but sometimes, ang hirap pala sa kalooban na may mga taong mamimisconstrue ang kakayahan ko for being far-fetched or fabricated. kung ginalingan ko man dahil ginawa ko yun ng buong puso dahil naniniwala ako na may magagawa ako pag nagsalita ako.
sinasabi ko ito hindi dahil kailangan ko ng awa pero dahil naniniwala ako na maraming katulad ko sa PH, magaling ngunit hindi nabibigyan ng pagkakataon para ipakita yon. in two years na nakasama ko ang batchmates ko, ang dami kong nakilalang MAS MAGALING pa sa akin. but the thing is, sa Faura lang sila nakapako. isipin na nilang, nagpapa-special sila kaya hindi sila nagkakaroon ng part sa college activities, pero yun yon e, SPECIAL sila. konting kulbit lang and encouragement and i believe that is what they need.
pero yun pala un, pag ginalingan mo, people would think that you are just making it up. na you are just a person of words and that you cannot be of substance.
PREJUDICED nga ang tao. how can you say so when you don't even know the person?
How can you say when you haven't even tried him or her?
We were good speakers because we did it from the heart.
ako ginawa ko yun kasi alam ko un ang kailangan ko as an ORDINARY PH Student. at lahat naman siguro tayo, nagPHILO kaya alam natin na hindi puwedeng i-asa na lamang sa hasty conclusions and future ng ating college.
MASAYA ako that there are people who appreciated what i did. kasi ito ako na hindi nakikita ng lahat. :) let's be honest. ang sarap ng feeling na sinabihan ka ng mga tao that "you are good", na "good job" kasi ibig sabihin the things that you did FROM THE HEART are the same things that TOUCHED THEIR HEARTS.
may purpose ang isang tao kung bakit niya ginagalingan. IT IS NOT ABOUT WINNING OR BEING APPROPRIATE ANYMORE e. it is about being appreciated for your genuine and genius work :D. na with your work, people started to believe na you can make a difference.
na with your work, you find your purpose.
kung may natutunan man ako after all this, un ay kung gusto mong magkaboses sa konseho, SUMIGAW KA. kasi thing is, pagdating mo sa election, pantay pantay lahat ng tao na boboto at pantay-pantay na mayroon tayong gustong mangyari sa kinabukasan natin. sa ating PAGSIGAW, mapapansin ka nila kasi sa dinami-rami ng tao, nagkaroon ka ng LAKAS NG LOOB to speak for yourself kahit pa nasa gitna ka ng crowd ng kalaban. :)
AT KUNG TIRAHIN KA MAN NILA, AT LEAST ISIPIN MO NA LANG NA KAYA KA NILA TINITIRA AY DAHIL YOU MADE AN IMPACT.
congrats! :)
kasi matupad man o hindi ang isinigaw mo, they'll always remember you as
"Ang Batang Sumigaw" :D
and for that, you stood out. :)
bilang isang normal na tao, sana wag na natin isipin WHO is the more appropriate, WHO would rise, sana mas maisip natin
WHAT would be more appropriate FOR THE COLLEGE.
WHAT would make THE COLLEGE rise.
Lahat tayo magaling.
At siguro dapat maging PROUD tayo na magagaling tayo sa CPH.
in just a few more days, malalaman na natin who will hold position in the college and in the whole university. sa totoo lang ngayon, hindi ko na iniisip yung pagkapanalo o pagkatalo kasi masaya ako na tinulungan ako ni Jow Poblete para makilala ng mga tao at makakilala ng marvelous na tao, para mai-share sa kanila kung sino ako at para maipakita na hindi basta-basta lang ang CPH.
nung meeting de avance, narinig ko numerous times ang katagang "ang PH ay maliit na college" gusto ko sana mag-NO. kasi alam kong maraming holistic sa PH. kasi kung maliit kami, wala kaming sariling building ngayon. kasi alam kong kahit saan mo kami dalhin, may funds man o wala, kaya naming dumiskarte.
at hindi ako papayag na mamaliitin lang nila ang College na kinabibilangan ko ngayon.
Ah. basta ngayon masaya ako kasi napatunayan kong active pa rin ang Nhet na outgoing. :D
and one day, i will use my voice again to be heard.
MABIBINGI SILA with what i am to say.
Someday. Someday. Soon.
:D
posted by anthonette at 6:18 AM
Saturday, February 21, 2009
finally.
it's the last week of the month--the ending of a month's plot and the beginning of a new chapter.for the past weeks, i have been trapped in the cloud of confusion. the events were all going too fast! and from a simple student who wishes of nothing else but be--simple, i realized that there is more i could give to the world than just staying simple. however, though the desire for growth, change and maturity somehow manages to forge through thickets of self-doubt, i cannot help but find myself sometimes stuck questioning my capability and my readiness to the risk i am to take. this even led me to consider bailing out despite letting people, who believe in me, down.
i may want a simpler life. but to disappoint people, though it's the easiest way out, would be death for me. and then it struck me, the only assurance that i or anyone else have made a difference in the world is when we have done something that made the world leap in surprise!
how would i urge them to leap, if all i would do is just stand?
and so this week, i end my contemplations..
i am anthonette malaluan of BS Public Health Batch 2007-2011, running for VP Externals.
and i will prove that there is more to me, my batch and my college than what meets the eye.
we will leap and the world shall follow.
posted by anthonette at 12:24 PM
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
i just NEED to let it off my chest. TOTALLY
honestly. i don't know where to start.
ewan ko ba. pero simpleng tao lang ako. when i first stepped into college i never pictured myself aiming higher than makapass (or kahit above average) sa acads or magparticipate sa whatever org. yun lang. simpleng tao lang ako. masaya na ako to socialize and feel useful to anyone. i never thought of doing something greater than that.
but in the recent turn of events, parang nabibigla na lang ako with the gigantic leaps i am to take. i don't really understand. first, i want it rin naman. i never wanted the title, really but the job, the purpose, the catch na "externals", that's what got me into this. gusto ko lang talaga to open myself up to greater possibilities. possibilities na kahit sa ibang mundo ko pa siya maranasan, i would still be close to where i am at right now. to the people where i belong. i want to do the job, really. to organize events that i surely won't do na by the time that i leave college. i want to speak in front of a crowd and make them listen. i want to meet different people. know them. know their stories. and even share my stories to them. alam mo yun, in the first place, i never wanted to be given any title. i just want to know people and find out how i can touch their lives or somehow help them be..happy. gets?
alam ko some people would say i am being "politician"-ish, pero the thing is, wala akong gusto but to serve, to serve na hindi ko kelangan magpretend that i know everything or that i am good at everything. gusto ko parang kabarkada lang lahat. the feeling that i dont have to impress anyone pero i get to do wonderful things for them. the feeling na i could help.
the problem is, di nila ako masyado kilala. and un na nga un e. how many more of us, like me, ang hindi nila kilala na actually willing to push themselves to help?
honestly, di ko nga naisip ito as stepping stone to med e. i didn't really want to plan my career to use it for med life! pero things happen.
thankful naman ako to those who believe na i could do this. to those na willing ako tulungan no matter what. to those na kahit paulit-ulit na ako and feeling ko sirang plaka na ako, go pa rin and they listen. to those na kahit sure na sila e sige pa rin ang encourage sakin. and to those na nagsabi na no matter what they'll always be here.
pero i was thinking din, kung simple lang talaga ang gusto ko, why am i letting this bother me bigtime?
siguro nga. i wanted that job rin talaga. pero i am still apathetic of the title, really. siguro nga concerned talaga ako na with this gigantic leap, i can make myself be heard. na may isang nhet na kaya naman kahit from scratch siya.
and i was thinking rin, if matalo man talaga ako, of course it'll hurt like hell. pero at least in the process diba i'd get to see who my true frinds really are and how willing are they to go with me through this risk. siguro matagal before i accept it. pero alam ko darating ang time that i would get better things. better openings. better possibilities.
hay. i don't know anymore!
posted by anthonette at 2:10 AM
Saturday, January 31, 2009
dude. i understand. but please. let me rant.
NO.
they say to say no is the hardest thing to do. and if by any chance one manages to, well congrats. you are one of the privileged to have the greatest willpower.
we say no for good reasons, for our betterment and for our self fulfillment. but sometimes, it is just fucking irritating when you are told no when you were told yes weeks ago.
look.i understand. promise. i am in the same position as yours. but please understand if i just want to rant. im a person trapped in this system--my body and if i dont let the inconsistencies and frustrations and grievances out, i will burst.
and my god, i can think of more situations where my body would be so useful than just let it explode like that.
the thing is, only few are privileged to have that alchemy night. for free. with free transpo, free drinks (most likely kasi someone pledged to sponsor) and free entrance and best of all, free boarding and lodging and breakfast and lunch (prolly) in our house in the morning. all you have to do is dress up and go. ta-da! you are now in tra-la-la land :D
and i know that you have tons to do. tons to think of. tons to contemplate on. but i reserved you two weeks ago. i begged for your time. asked you to call it off and spend time with me, to alchemy and dance the night away. but best of all, experience a surprise i prepared that will turn every person in alchemy into putty with envy.
unfortunately, the "babawi thing" is not really a good wager for the inis i am totally feeling right now. (damn it kung sa embassy pa pala ako nagpareserve edi napahiya lang ako)
look. i understand i just feel so bad and frustrated that all i did and all i planned for two weeks ago was well.. turned into pop! air.
tapos thing is, di ko na nagawa ung surprise.
i mean i can't go and party kung wala naman talaga ung reason nun for the party diba?
hayy sayang naman talaga. ciempre nahihiya din ako for the people i bothered just to help me with the surprise.
too bad na lang nhet.
sorry guys if you are to read this. i mean i understood you naman kaya i didn't text na lang. i just want to let my frustrations out.
siguro mejo pass na muna ako sa paginvite sa inyo. matatagalan na rin lang siguro.
posted by anthonette at 2:01 AM
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
these things
In today’s NSTP processing session, a groupmate shared a story on how different the phrase “to live” meant for animals and for humans. He said when animals “say” to live, they pertain to breathing, eating, and sleeping. But when humans speak of to live, we talk of things other than our basic needs. We talk about the things that make us alive. These are the things that help us live, things that keep us alive, things that give life to us. And what are these things? To realize the things that help us to live is a purely subjective and personal notion. What makes me alive may probably be different from what makes another individual alive. Nonetheless, I contemplated real hard on the things that give me a rush, on the things that ask me to live.To give back
As part of our processing session, we were asked on how we consider NSTP. Courtesy bias aside, I said it was a channel of helping me realize that there exists two different worlds and that one of the two worlds is not as privileged as the other. Belonging in the more blessed group, I have the opportunity to realize this and later on do something about it, to make a difference. NSTP gives us the chance to try remolding the triangle we all live in because we can convert this triangle into a square where in two different worlds no longer exist. Spending my Saturday mornings in Montalban is a way for me to try and give back whatever I have been receiving to those kids. And to realize that I am actually accomplishing this goal of giving back gives me that fuzzy feeling that I am actually helping.
To remember
When I say remember, I like to point out on the littlest things, those details that most people usually forget. Like the last time someone sent you a hug emoticon? Or the number of times your crush said your name? Or maybe the color of his or her shirt when he or she met you? These are things we tend to forget since they don’t seem to be very important when in fact, for me, these may be the details that really matter. ‘Cause it’s when we remember these tiny bits that we recall how important a particular moment was since a big important picture starts with small seemingly unimportant pictures right? Getting my drift? I’m thinking that if we can remember even the tiniest detail of things, it just proves how important that particular something may be.
To feel your heart jumping
Every morning I pray that I hope to have a reason for my heart to jump or for my heartbeat to stop even for a millisecond. When does this actually happen? Mmm, when I get excited for something? When I get surprises? When something unexpected comes my way? When I hear a good story or a good joke? Usually those things, no matter how small, which seem to make my day a little better. It’s good to know that sometimes, things find their way into me and just make me feel a lot better when I needed something to pick me up.
To love and learn
HAHAHA. This is getting really cheesy, but oh well let’s continue. They say you don’t look for love, it finds you. Now this reminds me of the sacrament of waiting; we wait for love to happen because something can only be considered true love if it can wait. However, in case love fails, our only fallback is that we’ve learned. We learn the things we’re supposed to do and the things we’re not supposed to say or do next time. And besides, love is not always a romantic entity. Love is when you remember to say good morning to your parents. Love is when you listen to your friend’s problems. Love is when you take the initiative to share your umbrella. Love is when you give random hugs to people, hoping they’d appreciate the gesture.
To accept failure
Failure is like pain, you wouldn’t know it’s important unless you feel it. And knowing that it is important helps you realize that it is something you actually need in your life, something that makes you live. And I know to realize is hard enough for anyone to take in, what more in accepting it. Wouldn’t it be worse if we were to live a life without mistakes? We wouldn’t know if what we are doing is right or wrong since we’d be thinking we are right all the time, and we all know that’s not always right. It’s a matter of balance of successes and failures; whatever we fail to achieve equals to us gaining more than we have lost.
***
Oops, I didn’t foresee I’d be writing a long one tonight. Maybe I just missed writing about the cheesy things instead of ranting about school-related stress.
posted by Mia Uy at 7:42 AM
